Married someone whom parents disapproved of

muslimwedding Question:

I married someone whom my parents disapproved of. Because I was afraid of my father, I did not disclose this to them for 2 months, but then I told them the whole truth and was sorry for not being bold enough to tell them before. My husband is a practicing Muslim with the same ethnicity as me. My father now says he will disown me because of this and has forbidden my mother and sister from meeting me. He says that he does not recognize the marriage and he will not allow any of the children born to this marriage to meet him or my mom. Is this attitude of disowning and abandoning ones child acceptable in Islam? Is there any Qur'anic reference or Hadiths to support your argument?


In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear Sister,

According the majority of Muslim scholars from different schools of thought, no Muslim female who has not been married before is allowed to marry without the permission of her parents or guardian. And according to these scholars, the marriage should be conducted by the parents or the guardian.

Imam Abu Hanifah, however, among a few other scholars, permits marriage without permission of the parents or a guardian for a female who has passed the age of puberty and even conducting the marriage by herself as long as she is marrying someone who is equal in status and social rank to her family. Also, according to Abu Hanifah, if she is not marrying someone with these criteria, the family of the female has the authority to break the marriage contract. I strongly recommend to seek and beg for your fathers' pleasance and blessing. Otherwise, your marriage life will not be blessed or happy, and generally, you will not be on the safe side from Shari`ah point of view. Try to seek the help of other family members to help you appease your parents and seek their consent.

May Allah help you and guide you.

Allah Almighty knows best.



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